


movin' right along

by divorceadvocate



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: M/M, Muppet AU, Muppet AU Lore, Oral Sex, Other, This is, Vaginal Sex, i have no other words, juno is a human, nureyev is a muppet, something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:46:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divorceadvocate/pseuds/divorceadvocate
Summary: Nureyev smiled against his skin, running a four-fingered hand up his side, underneath the soft t-shirt Juno wore.“If you want something, you’ll have to ask nicely for it, darling,” he said, and heard Juno huff.“What is this, Sesame Street? Do I need to say ‘please’ too?”
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 22
Kudos: 29





	movin' right along

**Author's Note:**

> strap in bitches

Peter Nureyev knew from a young age that being a Muppet in a man’s world was hard. Mag had warned him, his ping-pong owl eyes boring into his, that humans didn’t care about Muppets beyond how profitable they were, and even though man and Muppet were equal in the eyes of the law, there would still be those that would always look down their nose at Muppets like Nureyev. Over time, Nureyev realized just how true that was. Every human he met that was interested in him either wanted to market him for some show, fuck him to say that they bed a Muppet (and a colorful one, at that), or they just plain ignored him, not willing to waste their time on a species that was so widely considered less than elegant. 

But if Nureyev was anything, he was adaptable. He knew how to manipulate those who wanted him into thinking they had what they desired just within reach, and he knew how to charm those who would call security on him within a moment's notice otherwise. He never stayed long enough to connect to anyone, and was always gone before the memory of whatever name he’d chosen for himself could stick in their memories. It was too dangerous to let anyone close. 

That is, until he met Juno Steel. 

Juno Steel wasn’t like other humans. He didn’t seem to care at all that Nureyev was a Muppet. He cared about doing good, about helping his city, not about how many fingers Nureyev had or whether his skin was cherry red or not. Nureyev fell head over heels within minutes; the moral outrage that seeped out of him, his strong jawline, the steadiness with which he held a blaster, and the vulnerability that creeped into his voice when he talked about his brother, or when he asked Nureyev not to go with pleading eyes and white knuckles on a whiskey glass. 

And that first kiss... Juno had gone into it so willingly, so easily, all of that stubbornness and meanness melting out of him as soon as flesh met felt. He’d held onto Nureyev for dear life and let him take what he wanted, and it was over far too soon. 

Of course, then Juno had arrested him, but all’s fair in love and war, he supposed. 

When Juno had left him in that hotel room with empty bed sheets and a broken heart, when he’d confessed his love for him only to listen to him slip away in the night, Nureyev had decided that Juno was just like the rest of the humans. Fascinated with Muppets but more so disgusted by them. Juno Steel didn’t deserve his love, his dedication, and he didn’t deserve his name. 

That’s what he tried to tell himself, at least, when Juno joined the crew of the Carte Blanche. He repeated it to himself whenever Juno tried to catch his eye at mealtimes, or when Juno stepped out of his bedroom with that gold ballgown on and his cheeks flushed a beautiful ruddy color from the way Rita was fawning over him. He repeated it until Juno had knocked on his door after their mission, and apologized to him with his heart on his sleeve and a promise to do better. 

And he did do better. They both did. They made an effort, for the first time in a long while for both of them, to be honest, to communicate, to be their real selves. Sometimes, they sat and just talked for hours about everything and nothing. Other times, they wrote poems for each when normal words wouldn’t do. Nureyev had the natural proclivity Muppets all had towards song, so it worked more than just talking, most of the time. And still other times, they spoke with more than words. 

Other times, Juno would lay underneath Nureyev and gasp quietly as he mouthed at the pulse point at his neck. Nureyev was fascinated with Juno’s anatomy, with how foreign it was to him. He’d been with other humans, of course he had, but he had never been given the reins to explore one quite as intimately as this. 

“ _ Ngh _ ... Nureyev...” Juno whispered as the sharp point of Nureyev’s plastic canines sunk into his collarbone. He squeezed his lean but plush body between his thighs, a clear command to hurry it up. Nureyev smiled against his skin, running a four-fingered hand up his side, underneath the soft t-shirt Juno wore. 

“If you want something, you’ll have to ask nicely for it, darling,” he said, and heard Juno huff.

“What is this, Sesame Street? Do I need to say ‘please’ too?”

“I’d prefer it, yes,” he said, trailing a hand ever so gently across his throat. Juno swallowed and he felt it against his fingertips. 

“Asshole,” Juno muttered. “Fine, I want you to fuck me until I can’t breathe. Please. Are you happy?” He was doing his best to sound deadpan, but there was a strain in his voice due to the way Nureyev’s thumb was gently swiping over Juno’s nipple under his shirt. 

“Say it like you mean it,” Nureyev whispered, rolling his hips ever so gently into Juno’s. Juno stifled a gasp, the muscles in his neck jumping and twitching. He didn’t respond immediately, not that Nureyev expected it. He had learned that Juno was a brat, he liked to be stubborn and fight back against every command; that was, until Nureyev broke him down enough. When he reached a certain point, he was pliant and submissive and would do anything Nureyev asked at the drop of a hat. 

Juno’s hips lifted off of the bed in a desperate search for contact, and Nureyev's hand, the one not currently tugging at Juno’s nipple piercings, reached down and pinned Juno to the mattress. Juno whined, and tried to move, but Nureyev had him down. Not that he was fighting back that hard. “Say it again for me, love?” Nureyev asked again, this time with his teeth grazing against the shell of his ear. Juno let out a sigh that trembled violently on its way out. 

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t breathe,” Juno said. “...Please,” he added, the word quiet enough that it could have easily been the hum of the ship's engines. 

“Louder,” Nureyev ordered. 

“Nureyev, c’mon-”

“ _ Louder _ ,” he insisted, pinching his nipple and pressing Juno’s hips further down into the mattress. 

“Fuck-  _ please,” _ he said, throwing his head back and curling his fists into the sheets. Nureyev leaned up and kissed him so hard that he was dizzy when he pulled back.

“Good girl,” he said against his lips, then tugged at his t-shirt. “Take this off for me, hm?” Juno obeyed, and Nureyev sat back, studying the way his muscles moved and flexed under his skin, the way his chest moved with his labored breathing. Once it was off, Nureyev immediately laid a hand on Juno’s chest and moved him to lay back down onto the mattress. 

“You’re so pretty, Juno dear,” he said, hands running down his chest to land at the waistband of Juno’s skirt. He toyed with the elastic before pulling it down and tossing the whole deal away. Nureyev wrapped a hand around him, stroking him idly, watching as the breaths Juno took became more ragged. “Do you have any idea? What a work of art you are?” Juno shivered. “It’s like someone lovingly handmade you with a needle and thread, picked out the most beautiful fabric for your skin, mined the most precious diamonds for your eyes-”

Juno laughed, an airy breathless thing. “Hey, you’re the Muppet here. Just hurry up, will you?” 

Nureyev smiled, and it was soft, both physically and figuratively. The way he leaned down and kissed Juno was less so. Juno moaned into it, hands reaching up and towards Nureyev, digging into his yarn hair and tugging ever so slightly. His teeth grazed along Juno’s bottom lip, and he felt Juno’s hips lift off of the bed and strain towards Nureyev. And Nureyev, damn it all, gave it to temptation and grinded back into Juno, felt the slide of his cock between his thighs. He stifled a gasp at the same time Juno whimpered and hooked a leg around his. 

“Nureyev,” he whispered into his mouth. It was a ragged, desperate plea that Nureyev was hopeless to obey. 

Muppet anatomy was far different than a human’s. Simpler in most ways, their internal organs were not nearly as complicated, and they had less features and muscles that humans had to deal with. When it came to their nether regions... Nureyev had a simple hole between his legs that wasn’t intended for sexual purposes. Before Muppets were liberated, back when they were still controlled by humans, that part of their body was used as a way for humans to insert their hands inside of Muppets, to control everything about them down to the words they spoke. Since then, some subspecies of Muppets evolved to lose the hole. Not Nureyev; it was the most sensitive part of his fabric body, and he shivered every time he was touched there. It was the closest thing to genitalia he had. 

Nureyev sat back up once more, leaving Juno still laying on the bed with his mouth hung open in the haze of his pleasure. Bits of fluff and fuzz from Nureyev’s skin clung to his tongue, and he never looked so beautiful. 

He reached over and grabbed a thing of lube from inside a drawer by their bedside (they had to go through a lot of it or else Juno would get some unfortunate rashes) and poured some into his hand before wrapping it around Juno again. Juno moaned, loud enough to warrant a complaint from Jet the next morning, and his back arched as Nureyev made him slick and ready for him. 

“You’re doing so well, darling,” Nureyev praised, just to hear the whine that left Juno. Once his cock was wet enough, Nureyev sat up on his heels and lowered himself down onto Juno. His hands fisted the sheets on either side of Juno’s head at the stretch; he swore he could feel his stitches pulling, the thread straining around Juno’s girth and threatening to snap. But that pain was not nearly as overpowering as the bliss he was experiencing. He made an undignified noise as he started to ride Juno, his lube soaking into his fabric cavern, likely making it so that it would be uncomfortably wet and clingy for the rest of the night, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when Juno was thrusting up into him, meeting him halfway each time, slamming into him with a force that would tear a smaller Muppet, perhaps a frog, in two. 

“Fuck,” Nureyev huffed out, trying to grip onto something to give himself leverage. He felt as though he was free-falling, with only Juno’s hands on his hips to ground him. “You’re so gorgeous, so good, so-  _ ah! _ \- you feel amazing, darling, I love you, I-” His babbling was cut off by a particularly hard thrust into his fabric tunnel, one that he felt throughout his whole body. He choked on a groan, throwing his head back and just holding onto Juno for dear life. 

One of Juno’s hands that was holding onto his hip moved, instead reaching up to stroke Nureyev’s cheek. He leaned into the touch, any illusion he had before of control gone with the wind. He reached up and intertwined their hands, four fingers tangled with five, and squeezed as he increased their pace. 

“Juno, Juno,  _ Juno, _ ” he panted, every fiber of his felty body strung tight with tension. “My goddess, my-  _ ah!” _ Juno changed the angle of his thrusts, and suddenly Nureyev was rendered speechless, mouth hung open as Juno used him on his cock, guiding his body up and down on him. Juno was never very vocal during sex unless it was coaxed out of him, but watching him bite his lip as he tried not to be loud, watching his muscles strain as he tried and failed to have control over what his body wanted was just as, if not more, hot. 

Juno came with the first noise he’d made in a while, a loud cry that made Nureyev clench around his cock, like someone pulling a drawstring on a cloth bag. He could feel his release coat his insides, and he felt warm and deliciously moist. Juno fucked him throughout, gritting his teeth, and if Nureyev was made of flesh and bone he knew he’d have bruises on his skin. 

When Juno was done, his entire body relaxed against the mattress and he looked exhausted, heaving for breath, his skin shiny with a thin sheen of sweat. Nureyev, however, still had that liquid heat inside of him that hurt from how hot it burned. He was tempted to keep going, to use Juno while he lay there, spent, but he could feel Juno softening inside of him and the sensation wasn’t one he really cared for. So instead, he lifted his hips off of Juno and lay beside him, trying not to show just how desperate he was to finish. Juno was satisfied and that was what really mattered. 

Juno cracked an eye open and looked at Nureyev, who was perhaps more obvious about his need than he thought, because a fond smile crossed his face and he rolled over to face Nureyev, a hand lifting up to card through his yarn hair. It had come undone during their activities, and loose strands of it fell into his face.

“What do you need, baby?” he asked, still breathless, and Nureyev’s heart, the one made from fabric scraps and stuffed with cotton, did a backflip in his chest. He wanted to say something suave and witty back, but his mind was gone completely, and all he could say was, “ _ Juno. _ ”

Juno leaned forward to kiss him, the hand in his hair sliding down Nureyev’s body, over his chest and down to his hips, pressing lightly to get Nureyev to lay on his back. “You have me,” Juno whispered against his lips. “What do you want me to do?” 

“Anything,” he gasped. “Anything you want. Just touch me, Juno, darling, I-”

Juno cut him off with a bruising kiss. “Can I eat you out?”

“I would love nothing more.”

“Great.”

Juno made his way down his body with a trail of kisses pressed to his body. His neck, his chest, his stomach, his hips, the sensitive inner part of his thigh. Nureyev whined, reaching down to tangle his hand in his curls, tugging and trying to guide Juno where he wanted them. And Juno was good at giving Nureyev what he wanted. He licked a broad stripe up Nureyev’s gaping entrance, guiding his legs further apart. Nureyev groaned, grinding down into Juno’s mouth, desperate for more, desperate for Juno. 

Juno pushed in deeper, his tongue exploring his cloth opening, licking his own release out from Nureyev, tasting himself. It made Nureyev squirm from how  _ filthy _ it all was. He loved it. 

Nureyev shook more and more as Juno sped up, and then inserted his fingers to thrust in between his fabric folds. He was making all sorts of noise, gasping and moaning and yelling Juno’s name as he got closer, telling him how wonderful he is, how pretty, how obedient, how  _ good.  _ Juno always complained afterwards about how loud he was and how he was gonna get them both in trouble, but in the moment, he moaned along with Nureyev, and doubled his efforts at the praise. His tongue traced along the seams of his hole at the same time that his fingers crooked forward and pressed against the taut cloth inside of him, and Nureyev was done for. 

He came with a shout of Juno’s name, his back arched off of the bed. Muppet orgasms were just as powerful as a human orgasm, despite there not being a physical release. Nureyev could feel his pleasure building and mounting the entire time, and when he came, it was like he felt everything all at once, every sensation and good thing in the world, and he couldn’t think, couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. He was too overwhelmed with how amazing everything felt, with the heightened sensations and the way Juno was still fucking him with his tongue. 

He came down slowly, the euphoria of his orgasm slowly fading, the real world coming back into focus. He vaguely registered Juno pulling away, wiping his mouth, and then laying down next to Nureyev. Nureyev instantly turned and rolled into his side, wrapping his arms around his torso, sleepy and spent and now just wanting to be held by his better and human half. 

“I love you,” he mumbled into Juno’s neck. His felt lips dragged across his skin, and Juno hummed at the sensation. 

“You aren’t too bad yourself,” Juno said back, clutching him closer. His words were casual, and anyone else would hear them and think he didn’t care for Nureyev. But his grip on Nureyev’s cloth body, the way he tangled their legs together in a braid of smooth brown and fuzzy scarlet, the fond smile on his face, it all told Nureyev what those words really meant. It told Nureyev what they both already knew was true, what they both knew Juno wasn’t strong enough to say just yet. And that was perfectly okay with Nureyev, who just let himself be pulled flush against him. He felt safe, secure in the knowledge that his human lover accepted him and his textile body, and that this time he would stay. 

**Author's Note:**

> no i will not apologize and i do not accept constructive criticsm


End file.
